


Jewels and Gems

by Noxtorious



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Lestrade has had enough, Lestrade has some kids around, M/M, Parental!Lestrade, Parentlock!, Sherlock is a jerk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-20
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:04:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noxtorious/pseuds/Noxtorious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lestrade is really feeling the effects of work. Dealing with Sherlock is annoying enough. Pile cases, finalizing a divorce, a kid who needs constant care and the British Government bothering him at every turn, he really needs some downtime. The only thing he knows that could cheer him up is his two loving sons. Mycroft does not count on cheering him up.</p><p>A series of small fics centering around Lestrade and his relationship with his two sons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Felix

Lestrade never understood how two grown men could get in so much trouble. It was nearly unheard of. Only Sherlock would be the one to chase a suspect through a bloody carnival. It definitely wasn't on the top of the list if 'weird places Sherlock has been found' but it was pretty close. Even with the addition of John, he thought the doctor would have stopped the detective. Oh no. Where danger was John was surely to follow.

Maybe that's why he was sitting in his office with two idiots who had happened to jump into the Thames after a murderer. Was it a bad thing to say that catching the now hospitalized murderer almost wasn't worth saving the two from drowning?

" I have the right mind to keep you off cases for the next month, you know that?" Lestrade said.

Sherlock shrugged, the movement barely noticeable with his wet coat on his shoulder. The detective didn't even bother toweling off and proceeded to drip water everywhere. It was unsanitary and stunk of the Thames. The smell would never go away.

"You wouldn't, seeing as I've caught your murderer. Paperwork really doesn't concern me. " he said with a wave of the hand.

Lestrade rubbed his temples and glared at Sherlock. The lanky git was just asking him to throttle him. He saw John giving him a contrite look as if it would do anything. At least he looked sorry and had respect for Lestrade's office. He really didn't have the patience to deal with anything Sherlock had to say. He had been up for at least thirty-six hours and he wanted to sleep. The case itself had been a hassle and dealing with Sherlock made it worse. It was like trying to handle a hurricane. Just all around impossible.

"Yes, but he's hospitalized after jumping off a ledge, nearly drowned, and had me running a wild goose chase. Then on top of everything, I had to bloody fish you both out the river!"he snapped.

Sherlock rolled his eyes and just to be rude, squeezed water onto the carpet as he wrung out his coat sleeve. John gave Sherlock a look and shook his head. He just had to push his luck. The detective looked smug and already prepared as to what Lestrade would say. Said DI was preparing to ban Sherlock from his crime scene but got distracted by knocking on the door of his office.

A young twenty something poked his head inside and locked eyes with Lestrade. His face lit up and he raised a bag with a plain white box in it.

"I bought you lunch to- oh, I am interrupting? I can come back."he said getting ready to close the door.

Lestrade felt some of the tension leave him at the familiar face. Hell, seeing those hazel eyes and that cheery smile could still make him happy. John took that as the perfect time to snatch Sherlock out the office before Lestrade could ban the man. He was a yell away from it and nothing was worse than dealing with a bored Sherlock.

"Nope. They were just leaving. What did you bring me today, Felix?" Lestrade waved him in and took another look at him, "Is that a new hair color? Wasn't it just green?"

Felix slid into the office with a laugh and ruffled his navy blue hair. Of course Lestrade would comment on it (the messy cut and not the color). He walked past the two retreating men to set the bag down on an empty part of Lestrade's desk. Walking around the desk, he gave the older man a hug. He made sure to not get any flour on him since he still had his work attire on.

"It was olive green, Da. Much cooler than green." Felix wiped some flour off his turtleneck,"Sorry if I got some flour on you. The bakery was real busy today."

Lestrade rolled his eyes and pulled the box closer to him. He opened it and nearly moaned at the delicious smell coming of it. Inside was a hot spinach and lamb calzone with sour cream on the side. There was a tasty looking piece of pound cake that he could probably save for later. He'd was lucky to get enough downtime to eat it now. There was some good with having a great kid who owned a bakery and bought his dad lunch every so often He even treated his team on some occasions.

He decided to dig in right away, waving off the last comment. Flour would be the best thing he'd be covered in today. He was aware that Felix took a seat on the couch since his chairs were ruined. Even thinking about Sherlock right now for that brief moment wasn't enough to break his mood. A hum left his mouth as he tried to eat as neat as possible. It was the only thing to cross his lips that could constitute as food other than gritty coffee and stale biscuits from the Yard.

"So, who were the soggy looking blokes that just left? Friends of yours?" Felix asked with a fond look as his dad ate with obvious hunger.

"Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. You know Holmes helps me with cases sometimes, the git.John Watson is his friend. Blogs about their cases." Lestrade explained, more interested in his meal and saying so afterwards.

Felix nodded and briefly remembered hearing something about a blog about a detective. He had tuned it out a while ago when the customers in his shop were going on about it. He figured it would nice to be introduced to them on day. He could get them to shop at his store as customers. Maybe he would look for the blog when he got a chance. He did have a busy schedule and a big part of that schedule was making sure his Da didn't overwork. Last thing he needed was him stressing his body to extreme limits.

"Cool. I'd love to meet them sometimes. But hey, I gotta go back and open up the bakery. You gonna come home tonight?"

"Yeah. The case is over and I'll just bring this file home. Don't give me that look, I wasn't going to stay. Pick up Artemis for me?"

"Just checking, Da. You are such a workaholic. You're gonna explain this time why our Da couldn't pick him up this time. For eight, he's pretty smart. See you at home."

Felix gave Lestrade one last hug before leaving out the door. Finishing the last pieces of his calzone, Lestrade leaned back in his chair. His mood was definitely lifted by the visit. The whole incident of how the case was finished was a distant though. He would get started on his paperwork a little early to get home at a reasonable time. Maybe he could stop by ASDA and pick up some snacks he knew his sons liked. It would be his turn to do a little surprise for them after working so long.


	2. Artemis Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lestrade is going to kill Sherlock. No, not kill. Killing would be too easy. He was going to destroy him. He was cutting into his plans with his son because the man-child was being a brat. Se how he liked when Lestrade was really pissed off at him on a very rare day off.

Lestrade frowned as he stared at the crime scene before him. Okay, maybe that was exaggerating it just a bit. It still didn't get rid of the horrified look on his face. It was like a paint bomb went off in his offices. His usually pristine glass walls were covered in vomit inducing neon colors. Not even his poor desk had been saved from the destruction. Hot pink paint (with the empty can on the desk) covered the top and dripped into the carpet. There was only one person he could think of doing this to him. When he got his hands on the skinny git, he was going to kill him. 

The bastard even had the nerve to leave one of his ghastly smiley faces on his chair. His favorite chair that had been worth waiting for through backorder for. Oh he wasn't going to kill Sherlock, he was going to destroy him. He was aware of Donovan coming to his side and then letting out a sharp gasp. 

"What the hell? This has the Freak written all over it, the mad bastard." she muttered. 

That snapped Lestrade out his daze and got him letting out a frustrated huff. Sherlock really couldn't be that 'bored'. The last case was at least two weeks ago and he was used to the man getting ansty around the third week. Just because he told him that it was day off and he couldn't get any cases was no excuse for this madness. He had a whole plan for his day and had only stopped by to grab his jacket he left last night. He could just catch a glimpse of his jacket, drenched in a eye gouging purple and somehow stuck to the window.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. Baker Street was going to be a little detour in his trip to Regents Park. He had promised Artemis that he would take him to feed the ducks and take some pictures. He had to turn away so as to not look at the destruction. 

"Just make sure this get cleaned up and put an order in for new...everything. I really can't stay."he said, taking out his phone to check the time. 

Donovan nodded and made a face as she closed the door to the ruined office. No need to keep it open. She didn't even want to know how the Freak got in during the night. He was insane.

"I'll get right on that. Go enjoy your day off. Hang out with your kid. He's still into photography, huh?"she said. 

"So far. Now he wants to learn how to play the harp. Told me that he would be able to feel the vibrations of the notes even if he couldn't hear the music."he said with a shrug.

Donovan smiled at the thought of the little boy playing something. Last month he had been crazy about the Underground system and now music. All she could picture was Artemis (who was just a young mini Lestrade) working a harp. 

"Cute. Tell him I said hello. Seriously, go enjoy your day off, boss. I have it under control."

Lestrade nodded and made his way out of Scotland Yard with one destination on his mind. Sherlock was going to pay. That was jus uncalled for. He finally reached his car and was glad that Artemis was patiently waiting for him. He really hoped that he didn't throw a fit on the detour since he did promise a whole day together. No interruptions and they would eat at the bakery afterwards.

He unlocked the car and slid into the driver's seat, turning to look at his youngest son. Felix must have done his hair since his usual cocoa brown hair was messy and his bangs were hanging in his vision . Maybe they should get a haircut too. He couldn't have the hair in his eyes.  At seeing that Lestrade was back in the car, the young boy looked up and gave a happy smile. 

He was a little curious of why his Daddy didn't have his favorite coat but it was no matter. They were going to have an awesome day. He had even picked out his favorite burgundy peacoat to wear and his Batman tee. It was going to be a very good day.  Artemis took out his mobile as he rebuckled his seat beat.

"Are we going to the park now, Daddy?" he typed into the text box before showing Lestrade. 

"We have to make a little stop first, okay? Daddy has to take care of a big git who messed up my office." Lestrade said as he started up the car.

Artemis frowned at the news and pouted. That wasn't fair. Who would mess up his Daddy's office? Didn't they know it was special day together? There weren't many days that he got off work. It was even more rare to see him before he went to sleep. They had to do everything that he planned out. Daddy had promised to help him take pictures with the expensive camera Uncle Mycroft bought for him too. He waited until Lestrade pulled out the parking space and started driving to Baker Street.

He guessed that it was alright. It wasn't like his Daddy was leaving him for the whole day. It was just that he worked hard and deserved to relax. Too bad he had to wait until he finished driving to speak to him. It was impossible to read lips from the back seat and none of his texts could be seen. Well, he could but Daddy didn't know how to read backwards. and his eyes were needed on the road. 

Lestrade smiled at Artemis as he got the sign for ok as he drove. He could tell he was a little unhappy about it. He managed to avoid the worse of the morning traffic and found a parking space near the tube station. Unfounately, he couldn't leave Artemis in the car this time. He was going to have to tag along for this one.

"Come on, Art. Promise this won't take long. The park is really close to here anyways." he said as he turned around so his lips could be read. 

He made his way out the car and waited for Artemis to be by his side. He extended his hand to be taken and laughed when his whole arm was grabbed instead. That was fine too. He was going to get him a ice cream for the good behavior. He focused on the walk to 221B, going through all the scenarios of where he would get revenge on Sherlock. He had half the nerve to sic his overprotective brother on him just to make his life miserable. But, that was the detective getting off easy. 

There was no kind of simmering fury like the kinds Lestrade was feeling at the moment. A tug to his sleeve got him ignoring his revenge fantasies to the mobile angled his way. 

"Are we going to a friend's house? Uncle Mycroft said that he's not worth the trouble? Who's not worth the trouble?"

Lestrade let out a sigh and held back some not so nice words. Mr. Government needed to learn to mind his business.  Didn't he already worm his way into his life enough? It was already bad that Mycroft spoiled Artemis and indulged his every passing fancy. Sherlock had been grating his nerves the past week or so. He glared at the nearest CCTV (that followed them every so often), knowing Mycroft was watching. This was the last bloody straw. He took the mobile from the younger's hands and typed out a quick reply.

"Your Uncle Mycroft's brother. He did a bad thing to my office. We're gonna stop in his flat for a chat then we'll go right to the park."

Artemis read the text as he was handed back his mobile with a curious look. Uncle Mycroft never talked about a brother before. He told him about lots of things like other countries he'd been, answers to questions his teachers couldn't give and the really cool stuff like what he had for breakfast without even being there. If his brother was anything like him, Artemis was a bit curious in meeting him. He squeezed Lestrade's arm and leaned into him. He would be quiet for now and see what would happen. 


	3. Artemis Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god this part gave me so many problems. I'm still not happy with it but I feel its good enough to post. I'll get better with this updating more frequently. Seriously. Not making any promises though. On the other hand, loving the kudos I'm getting from this. I'm glad somebody is reading this. Feel free to leave suggestions and junk and I'll try to fit them in here.

He smiled when he felt a returning squeeze on his hand from Lestrade. His father gave a returning smile as they continued to walk. Lestrade kept the pace brisk and it was a bit shorter than an usual walk to 221B. He could feel fury bubbling under the surface and took a deep breath to calm himself. He allowed Artemis to ring the bell and waited for an answer. Mrs. Hudson was the one to open the door and gave a motherly smile at seeing them. She spotted Artemis and cooed at him, finding those big brown eyes staring up at her.

She moved to let them in and realized Lestrade didn't look to be dressed for work. She really hoped that Sherlock hadn't done anything too dangerous. That man seemed to get in too much trouble for his own good. And it did seem very supicious that Sherlock did come home extremely late last night with paint in in his hair. 

"Hello dear. The boys are upstairs. And whose this handsome little man next to you?" Mrs. Hudson said sweetly.

Lestrade managed to get his arm free and put a hand on Artemis's head. The boy didn't even startle as he was taken inside of the building. A ruffle to his wavy hair got his attention back and he waved to Mrs. Hudson. He looked up between the two before going back to examining his surroundings. Lestrade gave a smile as he watched Artemis take his mobile, sending off texts to God knows who. Probably updating Mycroft on what he was noticing.

"My boy, Artemis." Lestrade said as he tapped Artemis to get his attention. "Artemis, this is Mrs. Hudson. She's the landlady here."

Artemis looked up from his mobile and typed out a quick message. "Nice to meet you, ma'am."

With a timid smile, he grabbed onto the sleeve of Lestrade's jacket and took in the strange flat.

"Isn't he darling? Shy?"

"Not at all. Deaf. Can't hear a thing. I'm kind of surprised he greeted you." Lestrade explained, waiting for the inevitable look of pity.

It was always the same and he let people think what they wanted. Just because someone couldn't hear meant that their life was over. To his surprise, Mrs. Hudson only smiled and tapped Artemis of the shoulder. She patted his hand and asked him if he would like a biscuit. Artemis looked delighted at the prospect of sweets and looked up to Lestrade for permission. He even tried to start working the puppy eyes at him.

"Oh, go on. Get a biscuit." Lestrade gave the sign for yes. "Mind bringing him to the upstairs when you finished?"

"Of course dear." Mrs. Hudson said as she took Artemis by the hand to her flat.

Lestrade watched them go for a moment before making his way up the stairs. He didn't want Artemis seeing him tear Sherlock a new one. What was the idiot trying to prove doing that to his office? He finally reached the top of the landing and didn't bother to knock as he entered the flat. He saw Sherlock flopped on the couch in his stupid dressing gown, a book over his face.

Nodding to John who looked curious to see him, Lestrade went to stand in front of the sofa. He knew Sherlock probably knew it was him from the time he came into the flat.

"You owe me a new office, you twat. What is your problem? I told you I had a day off! I have important things to do today!" he snapped.

Sherlock only moved to remove the book on his face. He rolled his eyes at Lestrade and proceeded to ignore him. There was no need to explain himself. It was an experiment that didn't really yield any results but to piss off Lestrade. It obviously worked.

"What did he do now, Greg?" John asked as he put down his newspaper.

He was sure Lestrade was never usually this angry with Sherlock.

"He put paint all in my office. It looks like a interior designer on an acid trip gone bad threw up in it! And it's all his fault. I really didn't have time for this today."

John sighed and looked at Sherlock who had a smirk on face. Of course. He knew he was being too quiet this morning. Why did he have to wind Greg up? He really needed to find the detective something to do or he would just wreck more havoc. Standing, he went into the kitchen to make some tea. Sherlock wasn't getting off easy. That much was clear.

"I'm sure we can figure something out. Tea?" he asked.

Lestrade gave a tight nod and went to sit in the empty armchair. Fine. Let Sherlock ignore him. If John couldn't give him a good trade for his man child ruining his office, he'd keep Sherlock off crimes scenes. And throw in a few drugs busts and possibly ban him from the Yard for a month. He wasn't going to get away with this. He could put up with a lot of Sherlock's shite but this was the last straw. He destroyed his work place. He could arrest him if he wanted to.

He thanked John once he was handed a cup of tea and let the warmth seep into his hands. Waiting for John to sit back down, he turned his gaze back to Sherlock. He gave him another glare out of spite. Stupid git always thought he could do anything that he wanted to.

"I think having Sherlock not deny any case I need help with for the next six months is sufficent enough to make up for it. Without complaint." Lestrade said.

John nodded and ignored Sherlock making an indignant sound. It was his fault after all and he went overboard. Yet again. Why did Lestrade's office have to suffer? His eyes widened slightly as the DI showed him the pictures of his office that Donovan sent him. Well shite. At least Lestrade wasn't asking Sherlock to shell out some money to replace the furniture and his jacket. Even they didn't have enough money to cover all of that. He glared at the lazy detective and found himself with a gaze that dared him to agree with Lestrade.

Did he not realize that he was wrong? No matter. Sherlock had to learn that he just couldn't do anything that he wanted. And really? Destroying a office in the Yard was a big no no. John was almost sure that Lestrade was going to arrest Sherlock on the spot for destruction of property. It was useless to ask how he got in the Yard after hours. Sherlock was going to make it up to Lestrade if he liked it or not.

"Agreed. I doubt that you'll get an apology out of him." John said as he took a sip of tea. 

Lestrade felt a little better, knowingt that John would get Sherlock to follow through with their agreement. He rolled his eyes as Sherlock flopped on the couch and muttered something about it not being serious. He had to wonder what kind of posh upbringing Sherlock had. It make him more than annoying half the time. Taking a sip of tea, he started to catch up with John from the past week or so. He must've lost track of time since Ms. Hudson brought Artemis up with him. His little boy looked a tad put out even if he just got free biscuits. 

Artemis looked around for a moment for Lestrade and made a noise at seeing him sitting down. He walked over to him and stood in front of him with his arms folded. A pout was working its way onto his face that was frankly too adorable. 

"Don't make that face at me. Just wait a tick. You're worse than your brother sometimes." 

The pout was in full force now and made itself known. Lestrade couldn't hold back the smile that worked its way onto his face. He tugged Artemis close and poked his nose gently, making his son let out a giggle. He pulled him up into his lap and let out a chuckle when Artemis realized they weren't the only ones in the room. His eyes got wide in surprise and he gazed at the two tenants of 221B. He gave a shy wave to John and let his eyes linger on Sherlock. He tilted his head at him as he realized he had some of the same features that Uncle Mycroft had. This had to be the brother!

He waved to Sherlock and was a little surprised to see him staring at him so intently. Uncle Mycroft did that sometimes when he was tell-deduc-something spy like with Daddy and his job. Lestrade seemed to sense that Sherlock was about to get very intrusive. He had thought about introducing Artemis to him but thought against it. He knew Sherlock had no tact with children. This was the same man that made adults cry more on a number of occassions. He just might give him an overdue punch if he even made Artemis upset. He didn't even want to know what Mycroft would do. 

Just as Sherlock started to open his mouth to say something, Lestrade gathered Artemis into his arms as he stood. He waited until he felt the arms tight around his neck before walking. His back was not going to be too happy with him later on but the faster he got away from the git, the better.

"Time for us to go. Promised the son here a private day. See you later, John. Stay away from my office, you git."he said as he walked out the door, Artemis waving to the two as he held on. 

Daddy's friends were interesting, Ms. Hudson being espeically nice to him and giving him biscuits. He would have asked why he wasn't introduced but found the thought fleeing from his mind. What did he care? They were finally going to spend the day together! Artemis squeezed Lestrade in a tight hug as he was carried, more than excited to get on with the plans today.


	4. Old Timey Pastries and A Spot of Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the daytime, its not too busy to where he can't stop to speak to people. After all, being the owner of a small trendy place is like that. Plus, he likes to be hands on in his craft. There are always new flavors and methods (not to mention his usually monthly themes and contents for his place) which are to be discovered. He likes to see people critique and try his food and the one he loves the most to do so is his Uncle Mycroft. 
> 
> The man is brutally honest after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I'm a terrible person. But, I managed to put something out. On another note, I might be making a tumblr for all my stories concerning updates, a spot for questions and little headcanons all my stories that might not make it into actual chapters. 
> 
> Think this is a good idea? I think so. Can't use your private blog for work right? Ha! I'm joking but seriously, any suggestions are welcome and feel free to drop comments and such.

"Too sweet."

"A bit too much cardamon but the raspberries are a nice flavor. Instead of being just smashed, I suggest making a jam."

"...This one needs no improvement though I suggest putting it up as a special seeing as it is not apple season. No need to spend unnecessary expenses, correct?"

"I can always count on you, Uncle Mycroft. I'll get started on it right away! I'm sure to make more than a decent sell on them now."

Mycroft's lips quirked up into a slight smile at the gushing praise as he wiped his hands clean with a napkin. It was a small detour on his schedule, but he could make room for it. He had been on his way back to the Diogenes Club when he had noticed Felix struggling from the nearest Whole Foods with numerous amounts of bags. The young man was trying to avoid being in anyone's path but already looked a little red in the face from the strain. Mycroft knew that he would stop and rest at least four times since he was such a far distance from his little bakery. Felix never did have any self control in the supermarkets, buying anything he deemed to be tasty into his cart.

Being the courteous 'uncle' as he was dubbed, he told the driver to pull over and offered him a ride. Felix had taken it with glee at not having to travel the distance back to his bakery. He had greeted Anthea - who was Isis today - and resisted hugging him until he was fully in the car. Mycroft didn't mind, for once glad that Felix was actually devoid of any flour or dough on his person. He had learn to get used to the outward signs of affection when dealing with Lestrade's children. They had exchanged pleasantries for the short drive which Felix asked him to stop in and sample some of his work that wasn't selling as well as he liked.

He even extended the offer to Isis and his driver. Mycroft had agreed - though his employees had declined - and soon had found himself sampling a grape pie, a raspberry danish, and an apple fritter. He had to admit sweets had been always a weakness for him. But, Felix had such a high opinion of his advice. He always looked at him with adoring eyes and excited to hear what he thought. He could remember when Felix was just a little lad making he and Lestrade try half burnt pastries, sandwiches and admittedly horrific fillings of whatever food he could get his hands on.

They had started to keep a fire extinguisher on hand once the fire department had been called for a nearly brunt down kitchen. It reminded him a bit of his own childhood with Sherlock. At least he hadn't had to deal with explosions. And if he was honest, the bakery was a relaxing place to be and Felix had put his heart into the place. It was a spacious two storie building that had been designed with an old 1920's American cafe feel. The main level was where the kitchen was housed and the slightly large space left to house at least thirty tables - not including booths - and a wall lined with books on the back wall.

Felix called it his 'timey-wimey book exchange station' since people could take out books, but they had to replace it with one of their own. Or in most instances, take out the book and return it just like in a library. There was even a large guestbook where customers could write down what books they were taking or leaving. Just to the side of the entrance, Felix had installed a spacious window walk-thru for people who just wanted to buy but necessarily didn't want to sit down. Upstairs was a different matter in terms of how relaxed everything looked. There was a small stage upstairs for little performances - that ranged from poetry to music - though he was sure in one instance, he was told someone had done an disturbing interpretive dance number once.

A large bar was also housed up there along there with a eclectic of spirits and teas to choose from. It was mostly was whatever Felix fancied. The young lad even required that his staff dress in the 1920's fashion whenever he didn't have a theme going on. This month it was dead actors and it was to make customers feel like they were always at a show. All in all, it was well doing place tied together with dark wood paneling, hardwood floors, tasteful modern furniture and a lively staff that was friendly and professional. Mycroft was proud of Felix and how much work he put into his job to be successful.

"Always glad to be of help. How has your father been? He informed me that you dragged him against his will to go buy a new coat."

Felix rolled his eyes at that and leaned back in the booth, reading over his notes. Like he would drag his father anywhere. Frankly, he was glad the coat was gone. It was hideous and getting threadbare.

"Exaggerating. I just made him go get a better one after his office got trashed last week. His new one suits him."he said with a chuckle.

Mycroft let out a light chuckle as he took a sip of his tea. "I see. He couldn't say no to Artemis, could he? It was obvious he picked it out for your father. He is very fond of grey coats. It is long enough for him to be able to grab Greg's attention without tugging on his sleeve and potentially dirtying the front if his hands are messy. It's also big enough for him to bury in without having to remove the coat."

Felix laughed at the observation, drawing attention from a few of his customers. Mycroft hadn't been over to his Da's flat in days! He pushed his bangs out his eyes as he tired to get control of his giggles. Uncle Mycroft was like some kind of all knowing god. He could already see the embarrassed look of his da's face if he heard what was being said. He didn't want to admit that Artemis had him wrapped around his finger and would do anything to keep him happy.

"Have you been spying on us again? You know how Da feels about it. Plus, I helped a little too. I just made Art seal the deal. He looks rather dashing. One of my waitresses called him a silver fox.", Felix wrinkled his nose at the term, "But she's right. Da is a looker."

"Merely making sure you all are safe, not spying. He is rather dashing even without a fairly expensive coat. We have been together since you were a teenager after all. Though I have to admit, I have never heard 'silver fox' before. Unfortunately, I must be going since I have a very important meeting to go to." Mycroft said as he stood from the booth, grabbing his umbrella and putting a few notes on the table as pay.

He obviously didn't get a meal but he wouldn't leave Felix without something. He ignored his protests of not having to pay as usual. He told him to then accept it as allowance. Felix gave him a pout and stuffed the notes into his apron pocket. He walked Mycroft to the entrance, grinning as he pat him on the shoulder as a good bye.

"I shall see you all later as I only have a few meetings to go to today. I also suggest to get your awning fixed before the rain this week." Mycroft said as he saw the his usual black car pull up to the curb.

Felix rocked back on his heels, the grin turning into a smile as he nodded. He was going to fix it soon and get the letters repainted. The first words of 'Time Tower Bakery&Cafe' were faded or missing. Waving Mycroft as he got into the car and drove off, he had a little bounce in his step as he got back to making more of his craft. He was in the mood for making a banana creme puff and seeing how it would be paired off with orange whipped cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did Mycroft enough justice. I don't write him very often and he is a difficult character to voice. I'm sure I get the next few segments out as fast as possible.


	5. You Have Two?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its an usual post-case wrap up night and its Lestrade's turn to pick which pub they're going to be at. Except Lestrade doesn't have any ideas of where to pick. So what if he asked a favor of his oldest son to make up for a moment of indecision? Nothing will probably go wrong anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been so long but I take my precious time on these stoires. RL is always going to find a way to be distracting. 
> 
> On another note, I've made a tumblr (www.noxtorious.tumblr.com) where I'll eventually be posting little fun fact things about the Mystrade family. So drop by, follow me and leave some suggestions for me. I'll keep writing this until I run out of ideas.

"Did you remember to pick up your brother?"

"Of course, Da. Who else is going to help with the superhero theme?"

"...Not even going to ask. I expect you both to have eaten regular food by time I get there."

"Da! Sugar has its own food pyramid with precise groups to follow."

"Whatever you say, Felix. Hold a section for me?"

With a short goodbye, Lestrade hung up his mobile and rubbed his temples with a weary smile. Sometimes, he wondered if Felix was as mad as a hatter. He wasn't even the good kind of brother to discourage eating junk food. No, he was the one grabbing your hand and making you leap head on into diabetes. It had been a hard week with the last murder case turning into an inheritance scandal with one too many greedy siblings. A lot of running around had been done - mostly evidence collection and keeping Sherlock killed from a very perturb old woman - was more than he could take. 

He was going to treat his team for a good job for the week. He doubted that they would contest a change from the regular pubs that were generally chosen. The...'superhero' theme would probably be an eye opener but that wasn't new with the cafe. Felix had been texting him to try his new pastrami sandwich that he swore tasted like the ones from New York. At least that was a normal occurrence instead of asking him for advice that was better left for Mycroft's opinion. Still, he hadn't seen his two boys and missed them.

What was the harm of seeing them and having a good night out? His team knew he had children, but only had seen Artemis. He stopped by with him more often than not on his days off. Felix was grown after all and not including dropping him lunch when he wasn't busy, he didn't make much of an impression. Lestrade pulled on his coat as he locked up his office to meet everyone outside. It wouldn't be a big deal.

It would just be his team, Dimmock - if he didn't have work - and Sherlock and John. It would be just fine. 

"Taking your sweet time, Lestrade? We thought we would have to send a search team for you. Where are we headed?" Dimmock teased as Lestrade made his way out of Scotland Yard.

Lestrade rolled his eyes and waved Dimmock off as he walked up the sizable group. He hoped that tonight wasn't one of Felix's busy nights. That would be a little too much he assumed. 

"Very funny. We're going to a cafe a few streets down. I got us some seats. The food is pretty good and the bar is reasonable."

A few people gave Lestrade a look like he just hit his head on the pavement. What cafe was open this late? Why not a pub? Lestrade saw the skeptical looks and tried not to laugh. 

"Trust me! It’s as good as a pub."

More curious looks were given - Sherlock was flat out staring - before people started to pile in their cars for the short drive. Lestrade ended up with Sherlock and John in his car. No one wanted to deal with the detective, even if he was invited. He barely pulled out the into the street before being bombarded with questions. Sherlock was staring at him from the back seat with narrowed eyes as if to deduce him. 

"You have been to this cafe for a number of years, but have told no one about it. Why? You must be very close to the owner to get seating on a Friday night. The phone call you spent forever on is when you got said seating. How do you have time to cultivate such a relationship with a restaurant owner?" Sherlock said as if he was the only one to have outside connections. 

"Sherlock, knock it off. You can't be the only one who gets special treatment in every place you go into.” John said.

"I could if I wanted but how is that interesting?"

Lestrade only let out a sigh as he drove the short distance. Sherlock was especially curious of his personal life after meeting Artemis. He didn't want the detective anywhere near his sons. No one could make someone burst into tears faster than Sherlock Holmes. He wondered if he could mentally will Sherlock into behaving. He still didn't understand why he was even coming along.

At least John was there to keep him in check. John was a good bloke to hang out with and usually went out for pub night. Maybe some of his niceness would rub off on Sherlock. 

"If you must know, I take Artemis here all the time. Is that a good enough answer?"

It wasn't exactly the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. He did take Artemis there all the time because his son owned the bloody place. Sherlock went silent, but looked unsatisfied with the answer. It looked like he was off the hook. At least Sherlock was deterred for now. Finally arriving at the cafe and finding decent parking not too far off, they made it to the front of the cafe.

It seemed really busy on the upper level, silhouettes of bodies dancing and socializing through curtained windows. The entrance was somewhat more subdued with a small line as they went in. It struck him - and everyone else - once they stepped foot inside that Felix wasn't kidding about the superhero theme. How the bloody hell could afford all of the decorations? Every single server was dressed in a very realistic costume of a variety of superheroes. Was that Black Widow and Storm taking orders?

Even the menu had been changed per usual to fit the theme. At least the decor was simple with said symbols of different heroes littered along the wall and sectioned areas. He could feel the curious stares and only sucked it up. He could do this. Taking a calming breath, Lestrade walked up to the front desk to get them inside.

"I'm Flash. Welcome to Time Tower Bakery and Cafe, good citizens!" The maître de smiled and did a playful salute. "Good to see you, Mr. Lestrade. How can I help you this fine night?"

Lestrade cleared his throat as he swore he could hear laughter from behind him. No doubt it was probably Dimmock. "I have some seats held for me and my friends here."

"Of course, you've been place in the Justice League section. Boss wasn't sure how many people you were bringing. Follow me please."

Flash led them to their section in the back next to the library where a few tables had been pushed together and set. They weren't too far from the bar and the library - being run by Wonder Woman - was very quiet. Everyone took their seats with minimal fuss and took in their surroundings. With some words that their server would be arriving soon, explanations were in order.

"Where did you even find this place? You got us a half of section to ourselves and the front knows who you are?" Donovan asked with a strange look on her face. 

"I never even knew this was so close. What dark secrets are you hiding, Lestrade? It's certainly...different. Is the beer any good?" Dimmock asked. 

It wasn't anything like a pub, ambiance lighting be damned. It was like a comic book threw up all over the 1920s. Lestrade shrugged and leaned back his seat. How was he going to explain this in a rational manner? 

"I take Artemis here. I heard this was the new theme of the month. It’s a thing with this place. There are a few beers on tap, the food is good. Let's just have a good time, okay? I promise this will be fun." Lestrade said, wanting to explain the subject. 

It would be too much to explain at once. The matter was dropped and everyone decided to try and enjoy themselves. Everyone started to catch up on personal matters, discuss some topics - Sherlock actually joining in on some - and having a few drinks. Their server - who ended up being Zatanna - was great, recommending dishes and drinks and being generally pleasant. The food was good and everyone was having a good time. Things were winding down and Dimmock was ordering another round of drinks when everything got interesting.

Felix, dressed in a nice suit with coattails and a bow tie, delivered a platter of raspberry scones and a tiramisu to their table. It was easy to see he took on the outfit of Alfred but still looked like the owner, if a little old fashioned. 

"We didn't order any dessert." Donovan said as Felix set the desserts on the table. 

The young man waved it off as he stood behind Lestrade's chair, taking in the group. He recognized Donovan from Artemis's description of her. He had never paid attention. but he realized her desk was right near Lestrade's office. He was surprised to Sherlock and John though. He didn't think that they would actually come with his father to 'pub' night. It wouldn't hurt to take a good look at them first.

Sherlock was Uncle Mycroft's brother and it was easy to see the resemblance if you knew what to look for. The eyes were a dead giveaway if anything. Artemis did tell him that the man was a 'meanie' for what he did to their Da's office. On the other hand, John looked older and particularly charming in the striped shirt he was wearing. Not that he was into older men. But, John had a certain charm and looked handsome. Ugh. He was getting distracted. 

"Don't worry, everything is on the house. The name's Felix Lestrade and this is my place. I hope everything was to your liking. Zatanna is one of my best employees. Frankly, I'm glad Da finally brought his friends here." he said cheerfully. 

The table went silent in shock, some mouths dropping open at the statement. Lestrade gave Felix a look, but couldn't hold it as he was practically squeezed into a hug. Sherlock, of course, opened his mouth first. 

"Obvious. The staff was very comfortable with Lestrade's presence and she went out her way to make sure everything went smoothly. Your son is old enough to own a establishment and very close to you if the accent and the over excessive affection have anything to say." Sherlock wrinkled his nose in slight distaste. "He picks up your other child while you work. Tedious."

"Sherlock! There is nothing wrong with someone hugging their parents." John snapped as he elbowed the detective firmly in the side. 

"Don't worry, handsome. I'm a daddy's boy through and through. Nice to finally meet the famous Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. One is as rude as I heard he'd be and the other is very dashing." Felix teased, making John sputter in surprise. 

That earned Felix a pinch by Lestrade for flirting with a man near almost twice his age. He didn't want the boy getting ideas. He was already bad enough with the all the mad things he would do to food. 

"You have two kids? Two? Why did we never meet him? I thought was a delivery boy all this time." Donovan said, voice full of surprise.

How old was Lestrade if he had a grown child? Artemis had just turned eight. How old was Felix? Lestrade only let out a resigned sigh, scooting his chair over as Felix squeezed a seat between him and Dimmock. He explained the simple version of Felix living with his ex-wife before he had a permanent team was formed. Anything else would probably be too personal and not needed with such a large audience.

With that out the way, he figured he should introduce them properly. Telling Felix to go get his brother, Lestrade was left trying to answer all the questions and the shock of him having two boys. He wasn't even that old. How old did everyone think he was? He just got to his late forties. Luckily for him, Felix managed to come back with his little brother rather quickly.

He had no trouble as Artemis would have sought Lestrade out after not seeing him so long. Artemis ran the short distance to Lestrade's chair once they close, climbing right into his lap. He hugged him tight and ran slim finger through his father's hair. He giggled as the strands went askew and placed a messy kiss on his cheek. He waved to everyone at the table,but wondered why they were there. 

They never came to his big brother's space before. Lestrade couldn't help but smile fondly at the affection, returning the kiss and the hug. Managing to get an arm free, he pulled Felix in close by the shoulder once he sat back down. 

"Just to clarify and for a proper introduction, these are my two sons. Artemis and Felix Lestrade."


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lestrade just wanted to have a nice day off but it seems he can't even get that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RL is a pain in the ass but I got something out of it. It was supposed to a Christmas special but I kind of changed it a lot from the first draft so, yeah.

"What happened to the kitchen?"

These were the words heard through the Lestrade household a few days before Christmas. Instead of coming home to a tidy kitchen when he left, it looked the fridge threw up. Batter sprinkled the walls and gobs of unidentifiable slimy green slop dripped from the ceiling. Through the haze of flour, he could see two figures. He heard them coughing and trying to clear the air.

"Write this down, highly explosive chemicals do not make an edible cake." came from a deep baritone that has haunted Lestrade for the past few years.

"Pop rocks sounded like a good idea with the liquid nitrogen. Then again, it would have been smart to wait for the batter to cool down."came the other recognizable tenor.

Lestrade had to pinched the bridge of his nose before he killed the two. Who else but Sherlock and Felix? Sherlock probably didn't even know that an actual kitchen was used for cooking. His son was no better. Felix had been putting food on the ceiling since he was old enough to use the stove. The bad thing was he liked to bring his food experiments home. Unfortunately after the introduction in the cafe to his kids, Felix and Sherlock took to each other like a house on fire.

Felix liked to play with new food techniques and machines while Sherlock just liked to experiment. The free food was only a bonus. That meant Sherlock got to use expensive chemicals and machines and Felix got a free test dummy. Still, he only left them to get extra Christmas crackers. They had been fighting over what food to freeze in liquid nitrogen for a Christmas menu in the dining room. Where they got the nitrogen he didn't want to know.

"Sherlock! Felix!" Lestrade snapped, staying near the threshold of the dining room for his own health.

Felix whipped his head around and beamed at his father. But he quickly realized the state the kitchen was in. He gained a sheepish expression, holding flour coated hands in front of him.

"I can explain. It was all Mr. Holmes fault."

Sherlock only raised an eyebrow as he turned his head to Lestrade. It was obvious that he wasn't bothered by the mess that surrounded him.

"I would consider this a jointly effort as I have provided part of the experiment. The batter on the ceiling was an unprecedented factor that we didn't consider." he muttered.

The detective went back to looking over his notes like nothing happened. Lestrade wondered what god he pissed off to deserve this. He put his shopping bag down, knowing he had more things to do than mess with the two.

"I'm going to pick up your brother from school. This-", Lestrade motioned to the kitchen with his free hand," better get cleaned up when I get back here."

He didn't bother waiting for an explanation as he walked to the back of the house.

 

__________________________________________________________

 

Felix watched his father leave with a huff. He took another good look at the kitchen and winced. He wasn't too sure how they got half frozen jam on the bar top. He let out a heavy sigh, going to the pantry closet and taking out various cleaning supplies. He handed Sherlock a mop and empty bucket to use. Sherlock looked at the two items like he had never used both in his life.

Which knowing Sherlock was no doubt true. He stared at Felix who had grabbed a spatula and cleaning solution, trying to scrap the jam off.

"Am I expected to clean up?"

Felix let out a grunt as an answer,waving a free hand to the empty bucket and then to the ceiling. Sherlock made a face as a glop oozed it way down to the floor. He sidestepped the mess and went to fill the bucket with water and cleaner.

__________________________________________

 

Lestrade couldn't help but have a smile on face as Artemis told him about his day. He had to send off a text just to get a word in. His son was signing away about his day and how excited he was that his big brother was home. Lestrade bet that Sherlock left at the thought of having to clean up. The detective would likely live in filth if John didn't clean up.

Hopefully, he would have the house to himself and his kids. He was so lost in his musings that he jumped when Artemis tugged his sleeve. They were standing in front of the door. Giving a reassuring smile, he let them inside. Artemis ran in first and headed right for his room. The smell of chocolate hit his nose which made his stomach rumble. He forgot that he had skipped breakfast and lunch had been a distant dream.

He made his way to the kitchen and was happy to see it was clean. Felix was taking cookies out the oven and sliding sandwiches in their place. Closing the oven with his hip, he sent a grin Lestrade's way.

"You are sure proud of yourself, huh? You're the one who made the mess in the first place." Lestrade said as he sat down at the island, reaching out for a cookie.

His fingers didn't get to touch a gooey chocolate chip before his hand was slapped away. "Hey, I'm making sandwiches. This is dessert. Where's my little bro? " Felix asked, wiping his hands off on his apron.

Lestrade rubbed his hand with a good natured laugh. "Changing no doubt. He had a good day." he replied.

"Really? What did he do?"

"He lost one of his teeth today. One of the front ones. Art said he was eating his sandwich and when he was getting ready for another bite, it was in the bread."

Felix had a grimace on his face at the description. For him, that was gross. He was going to say just how nasty he found it when skinny arms wrapped tight around his waist. Nearly stumbling from the sudden hug, he grabbed the counter for support.

"Big brother!" Felix looked down and was not surprised to see it was Artemis. He smiled and returned the hug, ruffling his hair.

Tapping his shoulder to look up, Felix signed," _Hello my awesome number one assistant. Heard you lost a tooth, can I see?_ "

Artemis opened his mouth to show that one of his front teeth had fallen out. He giggled as Felix made over exaggerated gestures, playfully shoving his side. His brother had an innocent look as if to say "Who me?". Artemis let him to and walked around the island top to sit next to his dad. He had his tablet out already and started to text.

" _What's for lunch_?" he asked, flipping his phone around to show both men.

"Sandwiches. Ham and cheese with a bit of arugula. I made some seasoned chips to go on the side. For dessert, your favorite cookie." Felix typed back.

Artemis clapped his hands together in delight, making a shooing motion towards the oven. Lestrade could only laugh at his boys, knowing that only Mycroft made that kind of shooing motion to anyone. Felix seemed to pick up on it and only rolled his eyes playfully. He turned to the oven, grabbing the tray of sandwiches and chips out. It was like he went into his 'chef mode' as his little brother called it. He placed the food on plates he already had out, handing two to Artemis and Lestrade.

When Felix finally did a total wipe down of his cooking space, he finally sat down on the other side of his father. Lestrade and Artemis waited for Felix before they all started to eat together. Their meal was relaxing, the silence being occasionally broken by conversation. Artemis told them more about his day, making gestures so big that Lestrade had to steady him by his shirt every few minutes. Felix was quick to tease and make jokes, starting an argument that was good natured as brothers. Lestrade only smiled to himself as he finish his meal.

For him to be able to come home to his sons, no matter how they acted (or trouble Felix caused), it was the best feeling in the world.


	7. Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft gets an emergency meeting during his clear day with Artemis. Unfortunately, it will take the rest of the day. He gets Sherlock and John to babysit.

Mycroft looked over at his sulking child on the side of him. He knew it was rare he had even an hour of free time. He had set aside the day for Artemis, knowing it had been at least a month he spent time with him. He ran his hand gently through Artemis's hair, knowing he would have to work back into his good graces. Artemis let out a loud huff at his touch and clutched his mobile in his hands.

His little boy was not happy with him. He wouldn't spare him a glance, more focused on staring at the floor. Mycroft knew it had not been fair to promise the day at the club with how his job ran. Taking his own mobile into his hands, he typed out a quick message. Artemis had ignored his taps on the shoulder to get his attention.

" _I promise to make it up to you, Artemis._ "

Artemis opened the message and read it with a quick glance. He wiggled further into his seat with a louder huff.

"Promised." Artemis said, his voice raspy and soft.

Ah. He made a note to clear a few days if he could. Artemis rarely spoke unless he wanted to get his point across. The little boy was self conscious of how people looked at him when he spoke. He spoke clear enough to be understood most days, but his words muddled sometimes. He decided to send off another text.

" _That I did, but it is an important meeting that I cannot miss. You'll have fun with Doctor Watson and Sherlock._ "

" _I don't like Sherlock. He's mean to Da. :(_."

That was nothing new. Children disliked Sherlock on his attitude alone. Sherlock held the same sentiment. He heard about the kitchen incident last week. Sherlock was generally indifferent or downright vicious if he put his mind to it (which was all the time). He let his hand drift to Artemis's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. He would be fine.

John was a better choice in Mycroft's opinion. He would be able to distract Sherlock's prying that he knew would have to be dealt with.

" _You will be fine. Doctor Watson is friendly and you can ignore my brother if you like. He is technically your uncle after all."_ He looked up as they stopped in front of Baker Street. _"Don't worry._ "

Artemis read the text before looking at Mycroft. He huffed and leaned into his side. Mycroft hid a faint smile as he led him out the car. Artemis grabbed his hand in a firm hold as they walked up to the door. Standing on his tiptoes, Artemis rang the doorbell. He smiled at at Mycroft and tightened his other hand on his backpack. They didn't have to wait long as John opened the door. He looked at Mycroft and then to Artemis who he gave a warm smile.

"Hello, you usually don't drop by so early." John said with a look on his face.

It either was the 'oh god what the hell did Sherlock do now' or 'I don't know what is happening but be polite' face. He motioned for them to come in, leading the way up. As they entered, Sherlock was at the kitchen table doing unsavory things to a severed hand. He didn't bother to look at them, focused on the hand.

"Go away, Mycroft. I'm busy."

"Contrary to what you think, I'm not here for you." Mycroft said as he blocked Artemis's vision of the kitchen.

That made Sherlock look up. He saw Artemis who looked less than happy to be in the flat. He must have figured out something by the face he made.

"No. Get out."

Mycroft fought the urge to roll his eyes. He ignored Sherlock and turned his attention back to John. Sherlock would be the last person that he would ask to babysit. He and Artemis did not getting along. Not to mention that Lestrade would have his head if Sherlock managed to upset their youngest son.

"John, would you mind watching Artemis the rest of the day for me?"

John, who had been listening to the conversation, looked surprised. He wasn't expecting that. He was also curious as of how Lestrade's son ended up with Mycroft in the first. The boy seemed content leaning on Mycroft's side, looking around the flat. It wasn't like he could say no. How bad could it be?

"Um, sure? He can stay. Who is gonna pick him up?"John asked.

"Lestrade, if a case does not delay him or I will collect him later tonight." Mycroft said as he tapped Artemis on the shoulder.

Artemis turned from looking at the skull to Mycroft's face. He watched his hands before giving a nod. He hugged Mycroft tight around the waist; the man gave him a pat on the head in return. Mycroft pulled away and left without another word. That left the two adults with a child they barely spoken to. John wondered how exactly they were going to communicate when neither he nor Sherlock knew BSL. The answer solved itself when he felt a tug on his sleeve.

" _Hi, Mr. Watson. If you need to get my attention, you have to tap me. We can text each other if you like instead._ "

John smiled as Artemis held out his mobile for him to answer on. He seemed like such a sweet kid. He didn't believe the stories Sherlock told him about the kid being rude. John heard about the kitchen incident in full detail from Lestrade. Though it didn't explain how Mycroft had Lestrade's son. He would leave that potential minefield alone for the moment.

" _Sure. Would you like anything to drink? Eat?_ "

Artemis read the message and shook his head with a smile. He put in the number John left on his mobile, heading to the sofa. He sat down and scooted his butt until he was in the corner. Taking off his shoes and backpack, the little boy curled up on he couch. He took a tablet out his backpack and started to entertain himself.

John chuckled and headed into the kitchen to start making sandwiches for later. Sherlock was still doing horrible things to the hand so he avoided the table. Digging in the fridge to get deli meats, he nearly dropped what he had. Sherlock was standing behind him. John emptied his hands and put one to his chest.

"Jesus, Sherlock! I told you to stop doing that."

Sherlock waved him off like usual. He watched John prepare sandwiches with a frown. He spared a glance at the child barely filling out his side of the couch. Artemis must have felt his gaze as he looked up to stare right back at him. He stuck his tongue out at him. Sherlock narrowed his eyes and turned his attention back to John.

"You're fine. Why did you tell Mycroft that child could stay?" Sherlock asked.

John rolled his eyes. "Because your brother never asked us to do something that wasn't government related. This was a personal favor though I have no clue why Mycroft of all people had Lestrade's kid."

"He and Lestrade have been in a relationship for a number of years." Sherlock watched as John accidentally cut himself and swore. "I assumed that you knew."

"Of course not! Lestrade always talks about his divorce!" John snapped as he looked for a plaster.

"Mycroft keeps his personal relationships secret. Most likely the child's full last name is Lestrade-Holmes. At least, that's what Felix's last name is."

John gave Sherlock his 'I'm not impressed' look at the information. He was going to have words with Lestrade at the withheld information. Sticking a plaster on, he wrapped up the finished sandwiches and put them back in the fridge. He poked Sherlock hard in the chest as he turned back to him. It was like dealing with a child. Even the actual child they were minding wasn't as bad as Sherlock.

"His name is Artemis, Sherlock. If you can remember his older brother's name, especially with the messes you two make, you can remember his. Especially since you're his uncle if he's Mycroft's son." John said as he went back into the living room.

He walked to the sofa and sat by Artemis's side, startling him for a second. John only smiled as Artemis handed him the tablet he was playing on, looking at what was written. The two ignored Sherlock and started to have a conversation through typing on the tablet. Sherlock was not amused. He didn't want to bother with a child that obviously adored Mycroft. Who in their right mind liked Mycroft? In his mind, it was near impossible. He turned back to his experiment and started to clean up the space.

He rather not hear John bothering him about the cleanliness of the kitchen table again. As he placed the hand in a sealed container, Sherlock thought about what John said. Being an uncle was a strange thought. He had no reference as both his parents were from households where they were the only child. He knew that Lestrade had children from a previous marriage but he thought they lived with the mother. The only vague memory he had of said children was a few years back.

Lestrade put him up for a few days before he was able to get the flat at Baker Street. He remembered a teenaged Felix forcing food on him and the fire department being called. There had been no other child at the time.

He finished cleaning up and looked into the living room again. Artemis was making signs with his hands and John was poorly mimicking it. He disliked children, but at least the child on the couch was quiet. If he was indeed Mycroft's son (oh how he couldn't wait to tell on him), he would most likely be into more intellectual pursuits. It would be easy even though he knew Artemis didn't like him for some reason.

Making a decision, Sherlock went into the living room. He sat on the coffee table in front of Artemis. He ignored the questioning look John gave him as Artemis turned to look at him.

"I imagine that text and BSL are your main ways communicating. Do you read lips? Speak?" he asked.

Artemis stared at him with a curious look before he gave a nod. It was obvious he was trying to figure out the detective's reason for the questions.

"I speak sometimes. I don't like to. It's hard."he said, clearly uncomfortable and trying to keep himself from being too loud.

Sherlock wasn't bothered by the speech pattern. He could see why people would be uncomfortable with it. He saw no reason as without hearing, Artemis couldn't hear the vowels he needed to pronounce the words right. He thought about how to broach the next topic.

"I know that your Mycroft's...son. I believe by now he has told you I'm his brother which makes me your uncle."

Artemis raised an eyebrow at the words. He nodded before opening his mouth to speak. He made a few sounds, but seemed frustrated on what to say. Typing on his tablet, he pulled it close so neither man could peek at his words. When he finally finished, he flipped it so it could be read.

" _Papa told me before, but he said I could ignore you if you were too mean. I don't like you much since your always mean to Da. He works hard as a DI and you just like being rude and a show off when you help him._ "

John couldn't stop the laugh that came out his mouth. He covered it to muffle the giggles as Sherlock glared at him. It was hilarious. Sherlock looked ready to hit him so he went to the kitchen to make tea. It was no sense in the word a retreat for safety.

Sherlock watched John go with an annoyed look. There was no reason to laugh at him. Especially when it wasn't his fault that Lestrade could be an idiot on the job. He would never say that he was the least idiotic of the lot after all. But, he wanted to experiment with the idea of being an uncle.

"How about we make a deal? We'll start out with a clean slate. I want to experiment with being your uncle. We can pick three things to do and you have the option of veto at least once." He said.

Artemis looked surprised and just a tiny bit happy. His Da didn't have siblings and his mother only had sisters. He always wondered what having an uncle would be like. He typed on the tablet again.

" _It's a deal. Can I call you Uncle Sherlock?_ "

Sherlock made a face. "No. Just call me by my name."

His new nephew grinned and made an effort to speak his name aloud. It came out somewhat jumbled, but Sherlock knew he was trying. It sent a strange warm feeling through his chest. It was horrifying. To his luck, John came with a tray of tea for them to share. He handed Sherlock his own before placing the tray on the coffee table beside him. Artemis ignored the tea for tugging John's sleeve and typing on the tablet for him. John stopped preparing his own tea to look at the screen. Whatever it said made John look up at Sherlock with a warm smile.

"That's great, Artemis. I bet Uncle Sherlock would love doing things with you. I bet you want to do something together today, right?" he replied.

Artemis nodded and clapped his hands together. Sherlock was not expecting that. He raised an eyebrow at John since the man didn't include himself in the 'doing things'. John shrugged his shoulders and ruffled Artemis's hair as he stood, making him giggle.

"I have to go to work. I'm trusting you to not get into any trouble babysitting. Mycroft will get you killed or deported out the country if anything happens to his son." he said as he grabbed his coat.

"We already came to an agreement and you made food if he gets hungry-" He let out a sigh at the look John threw his way. "If we get hungry."

John nodded and said his goodbyes as he headed down the stairs. He heard Sherlock ask Artemis what he wanted to do. Sherlock was taking his uncle thing seriously. What could happen in the span of a few hours?

 

____________________________________

 

  
It turns out that John was wrong. Apparently, a lot of horrible, no good, disaster laden things could happen. He almost bumped into Mycroft's back as he went up to the flat. The man looked like he wasn't going to step one foot inside. So, John peeked over his shoulder to see what havoc Sherlock created. He found his mouth opening in shock at the state of the living room.

The furniture was tipped over and made into barricades on both sides of the room. What could only be flour was sprinkled all over everything and there was a distinct white haze in the air. The sounds of something bubbling over the kitchen could faintly be heard. Nasty pink slime was dripped and dangled from the ceiling. John could hear Artemis giggling and watched him peek out from the space under the upturned sofa. The little boy was covered in flour head to toe and the slime coated his hair.

He held Billy in his arms and seemed to be looking for Sherlock. The detective had a water gun in his hands and was hiding behind his own upturned armchair. The slime coated Sherlock more than Artemis to the point it dripped from his clothes as he knelt. Both had distinctive rings around their face, no doubt from the safety goggles they had around their necks. Sherlock probably noticed Mycroft once he stepped foot into the building, but was ignoring him.

Sherlock waited until Artemis wiggled himself out all the way before standing. He walked forward and sprayed him with the same slime that dripped from the ceiling. Artemis squealed in surprise as he got hit in the chest and pulled the skull up in front of him for protection.

That must have been all Mycroft could take as he cleared his throat. Sherlock dropped the gun on the floor and tapped Artemis on the head. He giggled at Sherlock and followed his motion to finally see Mycroft. He beamed at him and took a step forward, slipping in a puddle of slime. Sherlock steadied him with a hand on his back before could fall. He finally realized his state of being and the smile turned to one that looked more home on his brother's face.

"Dare I ask what you have doing and what substance is covering my son?" Mycroft asked.

Sherlock shrugged and started to sign with his hands. He must have been doing a horrible job since Artemis laughed. He patted his uncle's arm and took the time to correct his fingers. To Mycroft's surprise, he muttered what each sign meant for Sherlock. Mycroft could count on one hand who Artemis spoke to and that was only his immediate family. He stared at Sherlock and wondered how his brother got through to him.

Only hours before Artemis complained about Sherlock being in the room. He was sure Sherlock still hated children but he seem to make an exception for Artemis. The happy look on his little boy's face was real and he had enjoyed himself.

Artemis headed into Sherlock's bedroom to grab his bag and Mycroft focused his gaze on his brother instead. He allowed John to pass as whatever was boiling over finally decided to go off with a loud bang. Slime flew out the kitchen with the explosion and covered the floor in a sticky mess. The doctor cursed Sherlock as he ran to stop the mess from getting any worse. Mycroft inferred that the kitchen was worse than the living room (if that were possible). Sherlock made a noise at John's complaints and sat on his armchair. He noticed Mycroft's gaze and glared back at him.

"Shut up. Not a word."

"I never thought you would willingly spend time with a child, let alone mine."

"Whatever your thinking is not the answer. We had a deal that benefits both of us. It's an experiment."

Mycroft let Sherlock talk, knowing what a terrible lie it was. Sherlock had a genuine smile on his face when he played with Artemis. As if on cue, Artemis emerged from the bedroom and made his way into the kitchen. John's voice went back to normal compared to the shouting he had been doing. He came back out and went to Mycroft, handing him his bag that was held away from his clothes. Mycroft took it and hooked it across his arm. He ignored the snort Sherlock let out and backed out the doorway.

"Say your goodbyes. It is almost your bedtime." Mycroft signed before he texted Anthea to put towels down in the seat of the car.

Artemis nodded and walked back over to Sherlock. He startled the detective by giving him a hug. Sherlock looked down in shock and tentatively returned the hug. The detective's chest got that disgusting warm feeling again as Artemis said a quiet goodbye to him. Pulling apart, thin strands of slime hung between then before dripping down to the floor. He gave Sherlock one last wave as he followed Mycroft out the door.

Sherlock tuned out John's voice as he put his armchair back properly and settled into it. He watched a string of slime dangle from the ceiling when his mobile vibrated.

**Expect a call from Lestrade about the mess you have put on Artemis. I believe he will call this another Incident. MH**

**You made his day, Sherlock. He also told me about your 'deal' and I have to admit, I am pleased that you have taken up a familial relationship with him. Thank you. MH**

"You're not even listening to me, are you? Did you just get a text from Mycroft thanking you for watching his kid?" John said from the kitchen, holding up his mobile as he poked his head out.

Sherlock waved a hand in dismissal, staring at the text.

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Mycroft watched with a fond look of Artemis signing enthusiastically about his day at Baker Street. He squirmed in his towel covered seat and signed with relish about the afternoon with his uncle. He nodded at the right times as his mobile lit up with a text. He didn't expect Sherlock to answer back, let alone not teasing him about actual being grateful his brother did him a favor.

**Text me if you require a babysitter again. My time with my nephew was not unpleasant. SH**

His brother was full of surprises. Sherlock had done more than he expected and was trying to save face.

**I will keep it in mind. MH**

With that last text, Mycroft pocketed his mobile. He felt curious eyes on him and turned to face Artemis. He barely hid a grimace as the towel was turning pink and it would never be usable again.

"I believe that you should blame your Uncle Sherlock for your ruined clothing when get home." he said as Artemis played with his slime coated hair.


End file.
